Sunday 13 January 2013

Car Crash

I just wanted to update you guys on recent events. I was in a pretty serious car accident on Friday - my car is destroyed and among general aches and bruises, I've broken my hand. My right hand! The one I need for writing, moving my mouse, brushing my teeth, pressing a camera shutter (which is what I do for a living), etc. It sucks, I'm in quite a bit of pain and am very frustrated just trying to get dressed, but, really, the worst thing is the shock. I keep bursting into tears and seeing shrapnel flying at me when I close my eyes. There was a moment, after the airbag hit me in the face, where I tried to figure out what had happened and I could just see smoke and metal ripping apart and just noise and I thought I was going to die. I suppose it takes more than a day to get over thinking you're going to die. And I'm kind of ridiculously sad about my car being written off, I went to empty it of my things today and seeing it all ripped apart, with the sad little air bag inflated and my CD's sprawled across the floor. It was my first car and as much as I whinged that it made my leg ache and it made disconcerting noises, I loved it. It was the first big thing I really owned - like, when you live with your Mum, you're in someone else's house really, but, that car was all mine. It was like being a proper adult and just knowing it was sitting outside my house made me feel so free, like I could just take off in my adorable little bubble car. And in the back of my mind is how much it'll cost to replace my car and what if my hand doesn't heal properly and I can't use it properly or I'm always in pain now and how far behind with my work I'll be when I can actually use my hand again...

Anyway, this is when living alone suddenly seems like an absurd idea. I can't cut anything, I can't open things, I can't carry more than one shopping bag. Today I ate a packet of crisps and a tin of soup because preparing food was just too overwhelming a prospect when it took me half an hour to get dressed. Not that people haven't been helpful, it's just at the end of the day, I'm by myself.

It has taken so long to type this, so, not sure I'll be checking in as much as I'd like and I'm also not really focused on my eating habits now. I imagine I'll be eating thing I can easily get out of packets and not burn myself on. Hopefully I'll have calmed down in a few days and I'll be able to concentrate on getting back into my life. After all, life really is short and one stupid mistake can change everything and I don't want to waste mine avoiding doing things because of my weight.

There are a lot of 'and's' in this.

6 comments:

  1. Thank God your alright! I mean, at least your still alive and able to walk thank the Lord. That sounds horrifying, life is too short you are so right about that.

    I will pray for your speedy and full recovery!

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    1. Yes, you're right. It could have been so much worse and I'm so glad I didn't have anyone in the car with me because the passenger side of my car took the brunt of the force.

      Thank you. x

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  2. Oh, no. I'm so sorry you had an accident. It will take a while to get over the shock. I hope your hand recovers quickly.

    I was in a car accident a couple of years ago where a car ran over my foot. It's not a nice experience, not as bad as your accident of course, but I'm very causious when crossing roads.

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    1. Yes, I think I'm over the worst now - though I don't know how well I'll stand up when I have to drive again! Thank you!

      Oh no, I totally know what you mean - it makes you think about everyday things so much more! x

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  3. OMG.... so glad to hear you are ok-ish. Im sure your hand will heal well and no doubt it will take time to get over the accident. Just take one day at a time. can you go and stay with anyone for the 1st few weeks? Don't worry about losing weight during this time.. no point in having a sexy body if you don't have a healthy body! Get better soon and don't look at the past but at the future. Big virtual hug coming your way! x

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    1. Aw, thank you!

      My boyfriend did come stay with me to look after me and everyone has been very helpful!

      x

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