Saturday 15 December 2012

Weigh In - Week 10

I lost 1.5lbs this week. I am nearly at the 2 stone lost mark - although, with the festivities I doubt I'll be seeing that until 2013!

I had a pretty good week - I was back on track, even if it was more of an effort and from a mid-week weigh in I'd actually lost 2lbs by Wednesday. But, then I just got really, really sad. Everyone gets inexplicably sad sometimes, right? I tried to fight it off, but, I think without the constant indiscriminate numbing of binge eating, it was a lot more powerful and it kind of crippled me. I think I might have got a bit too excited about having a Christmas Disney would envy and the anti-climax has hit me hard, or something a bit more legitimate...!

When I moved out of home, I was worried I'd be really lonely. I've always liked my own space, but, the thought of waking up alone, working alone all day, sitting alone in the evenings, it was kind of daunting. But, then I was alone and I loved it - the control over everything (like, none of my food being gone when I open the fridge and keeping the flat hotter than the Sahara because I get cold) and the space to spread all my stuff out, work in a separate study, etc. But, I think after three/four months that dreaded loneliness has hit me and I just feel so abjectly alone. Because I work on the weekends I go whole fortnights without seeing my boyfriend or friends - the only thing I do is go to other people's parties and not talk to anyone (that only makes sense if you know what I do for a living!). I went out with my friends last night and I'm off to my boyfriends today, so, I feel better now. But, I admit that I let it get the better of me, I went to the supermarket with tear tracks down my face to drown my sorrows in carbohydrates. It kind of worked, I was disappointed about the step back as far as weight loss goes, but, it did take the edge off the misery and it was kind of worth it because I couldn't stand being that sad... Of course, I really should develop some grown up coping mechanisms. Suggestions welcome!

4 comments:

  1. Firstly huge congrats on the 1.5...that's great! Secondly yes I think everybody does get sad for no reason... I know I do... I just try and work through it...hitting the carbs isn't the best idea... but we all know that... perhaps try going to the gym or doing some kind of sport? Without sounding like a know it all... I read (in one of the many diet books that are on my bookshelf) that the reason why people reach for food when feeling down is because when you eat you release a mini amount of endorphins... you binge because you want to keep on getting that "feel good" ....BUT...when doing exercise you also get a release of endorphins and so get the same feeling of happiness when you exercise as when you eat. So...every time you reach for food...put some music on and dance the craving out for 5 minutes... you get the same effect.... but just don't do it in public as you may get some weird looks!!

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    1. Thank you :-) Yeah, I know - I'm generally pretty good at dancing away my troubles - loud music, dancing around my living room is one of my favourite things! It's normally enough. Just a moment of weakness...! x

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  2. I know that I get ridiculously sad once in a while. Usually when I start thinking about how much of my life I have wasted, or I see my friends living really full, successful lives while I am in this prison I have jailed myself with. I would always eat until the drugging effect of food made me forget about my problems. i often wonder if becoming an actual drug addict or alcoholic would have been a better choice for me than just eating myself to death. At least I could have quit those habits cold turkey when forced to deal with them. Oh well, it is what it is, I am glad that I sort of woke up six months ago and started to care about my life again. Now when I get really sad I try to just sleep it off. It usually only lasts for a day or two. I have also found that physically telling myself out loud to where I can hear it with my own ears that I am worth it, and I am good enough, has had a very positive impact on me. I don't get sad as much, and I think verbally saying that to myself every day (as simple as that sounds) does something for me.

    Great job on the weight loss. I think we should get extra credit during the month of December for every good choice we make. Have a great day 20 to 12, your Awesome!

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    1. Thank you! I think that too about the addiction - it's hard when you can't go cold turkey!

      I will try saying things out loud to myself :-) x

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